You have probably heard thousands of times that humans are social animals, and it’s true to a certain extent. Friendships make our lives better. Social affiliation is important for your mental wellbeing, but in some cases, cutting people out of your life proves to be even more vital.
Of course, this action isn’t always necessary. Most of the time, it’s possible to resolve disagreements with your friends and family without burning bridges, especially if it’s your parents or siblings.
But today, we will talk about the examples of people and relationships when cutting ties is the best solution.
6 Types of People to Cut Out of Your Life
1. Those who belittle you and your achievements
You may have a friend or uncle who says harsh things every time you attempt to share your aspirations or talk about your accomplishments with them.
Some people just have it in their nature – they thrive on belittling others. They may have insecurities of their own or be deeply unhappy. Or they may have a patronizing attitude and believe that they indeed help you see life in a more realistic light.
However, it’s different when your friend just tries to prevent you from making a mistake and when he criticizes all your undertakings, ideas, and even the people you hang out with.
If you have this kind of individual in your social circle, consider this. Ask yourself a few questions before cutting people out of your life:
- Does this person respond negatively to everything I say?
- Are they just having a tough time in their life or is it their usual attitude?
- Do I feel worthless every time I talk to them about my life?
- Is it constructive criticism that can help me grow or are they being too harsh?
Answering these questions will help you realize whether your friend or family member is indeed a bad influence that drags you down. After all, they might just be realistic or struggle with issues of their own at this time.
2. Those who lie and fake their feelings
In our society, polite behavior involves a certain degree of pretense and lying. We are supposed to smile at other people and ask them how they are doing even if we dislike or disrespect them. We are not supposed to show our real feelings most of the time, and calling things by their names is considered rude.
I guess everyone follows these patterns of inauthentic behavior to some extent. Therefore, no matter how much you value honesty, it doesn’t make sense to cut ties with someone just because they faked a smile or told you a white lie.
But there are also people who can’t live without being insincere. If you happen to have a pathological liar in your social circle, you know how annoying this habit can be. When someone lies for no reason, they drag everyone around them into their never-ending game of deception.
They can’t just stop – lying is their second nature. They invent stories and distort the most trivial facts. And before you even understand it, you get into trouble because of someone else’s dishonesty.
Therefore, staying away from liars is a good idea. If you can’t cut such people out of your life entirely, then at least avoid too much contact with them.
3. Manipulative personalities
Continuing with the topic of inauthenticity, some people don’t lie out of habit – they do it to take advantage of others. And it’s much worse than someone who just tries to impress others or wants to create an illusion of an adventurous life.
Manipulative people are everywhere, and I’m not talking only about the most devious personalities such as narcissists or psychopaths. Mentally healthy individuals can have manipulative tendencies too.
For example, it might be a perpetual victim or a person who is afraid of responsibilities. Remember that co-worker who always shifts the blame when the project goes wrong?
It can also be someone with low self-esteem who craves attention and validation. They will complain, say self-diminishing things, and fish for compliments. Hanging out with such a person is incredibly exhausting.
People become manipulative for many reasons, and their motives are not always evil – sometimes, they struggle with complexes and self-limiting beliefs.
However, when you keep such characters in your social circle, you will have to deal with their mess, not knowing what psychological game they are up to this time. Thus, instead of having a loyal and honest friend by your side, you end up being played in their diversion game.
Being friends with a manipulative person is draining and risky, so you might want to consider cutting them out of your life.
4. Those who thrive on negativity and drama
Once again, it’s important to distinguish toxic personalities from people who are simply going through a hard time. It could be that your friend is facing issues in her relationship, so she is complaining about her boyfriend all the time.
After all, friendships are not only about adventures and having fun, and there comes a time when you need to show understanding and offer support.
But there also are individuals who always speak ill of others, create drama out of nothing, and complain about their lives all the time, even when things are going pretty well. It’s those people who make your life better only when you cut them out of it.
They are often referred to as ‘emotional vampires’ and it makes sense why – after talking to such a person, you feel endlessly tired for no reason. Keeping chronic complainers and drama queens in your life is a sure way to waste your time and energy on listening to gossip and moaning.
5. Egocentric characters and those who take advantage of you
We all have had an acquaintance who would show up only when they needed something. Be it help with a college assignment, some money to borrow, or any other kind of favor – these people want to be a part of your life only when they are in some kind of trouble.
When it’s you who needs their help, they simply disappear. They don’t return your phone calls, and they ignore your texts, saying afterwards that they were super busy. It’s those individuals who are the first to accept your invitation to a party and the last to call you when you are sick.
Believe me, you will be much better without them, so cutting such people out of your life is the wisest solution.
Moreover, taking advantage of others doesn’t only involve asking for favors or borrowing money. Sometimes, it takes more subtle forms, and people use you for emotional support. While friends are meant to support, listen, and give advice in difficult situations, it works only when it’s mutual.
If support is one-sided and you always end up listening to your friend’s problems while they don’t show the slightest interest in your life, you may need to reconsider the nature of this friendship.
If all conversations turn to them even when you attempt to talk about yourself, it could be that they don’t really care about you. This person might be egocentric, so they see no sense in discussing anything else but themselves.
Therefore, one-sided friendships are among those instances when cutting people out of your life is a good idea.
6. Overly critical and controlling personalities
Finally, controlling people can turn your life into a living hell. It’s those people who have an opinion about everything and believe that their judgment is the only right one. They are pretty sure that they just can’t be wrong.
They don’t mind getting nosy and invasive because they want to have everything under their control, including other people’s lives. They believe they know better what you should do with your life, so they often give you the advice you didn’t ask for.
If you have a friend who doesn’t respect your boundaries or a co-worker who snoops into your personal life, which makes you feel uncomfortable, you may want to stay away from them.
It is particularly true if someone doesn’t accept you for who you are. If you have to pretend and hide your views or personality traits from your friend because you know they will judge and criticize you, are they really your friend?
Maybe it’s better to cut ties and focus on spending your time with like-minded people instead.
7 Questions to Ask Yourself When Thinking about Cutting People Out of Your Life
To sum up, here are a few general questions to ask yourself if you suspect that you’d be better without certain people in your life:
- How do I feel after spending time with this person?
- What do we usually discuss? Do all conversations revolve around gossip and small talk topics or do we ever get more personal?
- Do they always speak negatively about others and complain about something?
- Are they genuinely interested in me and my life or am I the only one who cares?
- Can I trust them with my secrets and personal problems?
- Is this person ready to offer support and understanding when I need them?
- Have I ever caught this person lying or acting fake? Have they ever betrayed me?
Cutting people from your life does not mean you hate them, it simply means you respect yourself.
Whether you decide to cut people out of your life or not, it’s always up to you. After all, whether you can tolerate a particular behavior or not depends on your values and personality traits.
But it all goes down to one universal truth: if you feel drained, worthless, or unhappy every time you spend time with that particular person, then they probably should have no place in your life.
Sometimes, friendships and family ties come secondary, and you have to put your emotional health first.